Walking on the edge
by Nekocin
Summary: The days Taki stopped talking.


**Title:** Walking on the edge

**Author:** Nekocin/tyreling

**Fandom:** Natsume Yuujinchou

**Focus:** Taki, mention Natsume

**Genres:** general, supernatural, angst

**Other:** taken theme "August 13th-Life is short and the world is wide", from 31_days comm.

**Summary:** The days Taki stopped talking.

**Word count:** approximately 1,768

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Natsume Yuujinchou.

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><p>"What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost,"<p>

Taki didn't respond.

She was going to die. She was going to be eaten. Her soul will be devoured by the end of the year. Or at least 360 days as the ayakashi had claimed. Time was a funny factor for ayakashi, according to her grandfather's studies. Either it's in ayakashi time span or in human relation.

Mother looked worried, leaned her forehead to hers, measuring her temperature and hummed thoughtfully. "No fever. But your skin feels really cold."

Taki stared hollowly at the woman whom she affectionately called 'mommy', but dared not open her mouth.

The people whose names she uttered will become the next victim after the monster consumes her. Although 'mommy' wasn't a name, she wasn't too sure to which extent a name can be considered a name for ayakashi. Ayakashi weren't exactly known for being truthful, especially ones who were out to bring misfortune; even after centuries living amongst the humans.

That ayakashi might as well have said that anyone she was close to will be marked with the seal of death. What if that ayakashi could read her mind when she accidentally calls her friends inwardly? Does that also count in his to-kill list?

She shook off her mother's worried gaze and headed to her late grandfather's study room, pouring through the scriptures and her grandfather's writings. Maybe there was a way to undo the curse. Maybe she can find a loophole to rid herself from this horrible ayakashi. Like a charm or a counter-curse.

After a few weeks she realized she couldn't stay in the study room forever. The study room that was filled with infinite knowledge and smelt of ancient paper and incense; time simply stopped in there. She couldn't stay inside doing nothing while that ayakashi was roaming around the country, eluding her search perimeters. It's a waste of her precious time. What if the ayakashi moved to another providence and hid there until the end of those 360 days just because it can? She had to go into the field. She had to work actively for her victory.

Her friends looked on worried when she couldn't answer them properly, when she couldn't even utter their names without stopping herself. No amount of cuteness exposure in the intricate shop store could entice Taki into a squeal or an incoherent goo-goo-ga-ga sound; something she usually did whenever she encountered The Cute. Instead, it's either a faint "un" or a nod or a strange sort of wobbly smile that contorts her face in odd angles. They thought she had boy problems and took her out in the weekends, prodding her about the god-awful guy who made her depressed and took away her voice.

She only grinned awkwardly and left them hanging with a shrug and a faraway look to the side. Her face focused onto the direction of the woods and the open fields. The only way to find this terrifying ayakashi was to go head on. To make him visible everywhere. Apparently, the forest was a good place to start. It was said that forest grounds breed youkai and ayakashi alike; no doubt the forest surrounding the city was no different.

At some point none of her friends remained to poke, prod and annoy the living out of her. None of them tried to coax her out of her silence after her two weeks of stubborn muteness. Because Taki had refused to budge long, long ago.

It's better to keep her distance.

Yes, it's better this way; Taki would tear her eyes from looking forlornly at her group of friends sitting together in the school yard, prattling, laughing and eating bento. She tore her eyes away from the happiness written on their faces and pretended that her vision was just blurry (it's the wind!), not watery, because the cold air had been biting and unforgiveable that day.

The teachers looked frustrated when she refused to answer properly, whenever they called on her to answer a question, to participate in class, to read up aloud. Was she stupid? Was she indifferent? Did she ever want to be at school at all? Why was she acting so reclusive?

Taki's mother was called for a parent teacher conference, discussing Taki's latest behaviour. Did she have problems with speech? Did something happen at home? Why wasn't talking?

Why? Why? Why?

The questions continued to roll out and Taki's poor mother just didn't know the answer for all of them. Deflecting them-explaining Taki's behaviour-had become a difficult subject altogether, with Taki's recent strange affiliation to head off somewhere unknown and come back home late at night, smelling of wind, sand and forest breeze. What was her daughter thinking?

"I wish you can tell me what's wrong, Taki," Mother said sadly, if not a bit angry and hurt, as they walked side by side on their way home.

Taki only nodded to show that she had understood. But not really. Her mind was still running around in circles. Had she drawn enough magic patterns around the forest? In the outskirts of the forest? Near the river bank? Which places had she missed? Her hand tightened its hold onto the wooden stick Taki had started carrying since her realization to go infield. There's no way she would give up. Despite the many disappointing setbacks, Taki pushed forward. She was determined to win this game.

At the end of the day she would sit in her room and stare at her calendar hanging against the wall, filled with red crossed-over dates, ticking off the days gone past. How many days had gone by without result? How many more to come?

It didn't take long before Taki felt frustrated. She needed help. She couldn't take on the vast land in the city she's staying. She didn't even have a clue if her method was right.

Jumping unsuspecting (and smaller) ayakashi to ask if they had seen a monster-like ayakashi before had seemed like a good idea initially, until Taki actually started doing it. After several screeches of surprise, shock and impending heart palpitating outcries coming from both ayakashi ("EEK! A human just saw me! Leave me alone!") and Taki herself ("Aaah! An alien monster!"), she finally found her break when a tiny little masked thing decided to take pity on her.

"Find Natsume-sama. Natsume-sama can see ayakashi."

"Who is-?" She abruptly held her fingers in front of her mouth to stop her lips from moving to form that name. Her voice felt raw and unused after all this time. No no no no... after all those days she had refused to speak, why now? Why open her mouth?

"A human. Like you. Natsume-sama has the book of friends so it's best if you consult him."

And the next day, she actively sought out this 'Natsume-sama'. It wasn't so hard at all. At school, there were rumours all over the place, and one of them was the odd rumour about _'Natsume from class X is a liar and a freak. Says he can see otherworldly things. Always talking to air and running around like a psycho'_.

_Otherworldly things. Liar. Freak. Passed along from relatives. Transfer student. Creepy child._

Taki had heard all kinds of rumours about Natsume. She hadheard all of them, now that she thought about it. In the second month of the new school year there was quite a wave of murmurs behind cupped hands, in the corridors and in class, about a certain Natsume Takashi.

How did he look like exactly?

She had seen that boy before...

She remembered him being a slim, tall and pale guy with a really pretty face of sort. (Of course, not as pretty as Natori-sama, the actor.) A drawn, pretty face with hollow, dark eyes that actually reflected gold. The image in her mind painted a solitary, if not lonely, teenager her age who had seen worse things in life and was paying for all of that without even fighting. Although why her mind would supply such a morbid expectation of this Natsume, Taki couldn't comprehend.

She was surprised to see, though, that despite the bad rumours about him, Natsume seemed to be well-liked. He was often surrounded by some guys, smiling and chuckling with them. He was often seen in the company of at least one of two students, either just talking, walking together or eating bento; and at times, in the company of a girl with glasses.

Steeling herself, Taki decided to ask him out right.

But every time she tried to step towards him, Taki hesitated. Something in the pit of her stomach made her stop, preventing her from marching straight ahead and ask Natsume if he could actually_ see_ ayakashi; if he could help her in her quest to win a game against an ayakashi. The more she thought about her meeting, or at least her imaginary meeting with this Natsume, the more she felt ridiculous, helpless and silly. After all, Taki had refused to talk for what seemed like forever. How was she going to explain herself? How was she going to approach this Natsume without actually talking? Without jeopardizing his safety? And worse, what if the rumours were wrong? What if Natsume was simply a normal guy who was just teased at for being transferred around like a stray? What if he really cannot see ayakashi?

Her impending doom was nearing, and she still couldn't make up her mind to approach Natsume or not. As each day passed by with no forthcoming result, Taki felt her hope slipping out of her grasp like water. Soon the 360 days will come to an end. Taki refused to think of unpleasant visions involving lots of blood, gore, body-sucking and other horrible death scenes she nicked from horror movies. She refused to imagine what it would be like if her parents discover her gone one day, spirited away or worse, her lifeless body in some unexplained condition that can give them nightmares for years to come.

With much effort she pushed those horrifying images into the back of her mind and tried to erase them by reasoning to herself; she can't give up now that she had come so far. It's a responsibility she was willing carry the moment she started playing with her grandfather's studies.

Taki wasn't diligently doing her part just to find herself tumble over the line from life to her death once the designated deadline was up. In spite of all the horrors her mind had actively supplied about her oncoming death, Taki wanted to live.

No matter what the odds were, she would topple this game in her favour. Taki didn't know _how_ she was going to do that, but once the opportunity presented itself in some way, Taki was going to cling onto her life as literally as she could. Because this was her life to decide on. This was her life at stake.

_End_

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><p><strong>TheNekoTalks:<strong>

This fic had remained half written for two years until I decided to re-do the scenes and just work on it. The end result... is okay, I guess? The ending felt out of place but working around it feels so strange and awkward considering the tone of the fic. Hahahah.

I sincerely loveLOVElove Taki. Wish there's more of her in both the manga and anime.

**Thank you for reading!**

**.:Nekocin:.**


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